Many parents have difficulties, often they can not find a common language with their child.
10 Things That Can Not Be Said To A Child. How To Become A Child Friend
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Sometimes it is difficult to understand how to react if the child begins to behave inadequately, stops listening and shows vagaries. Naturally, parents love their children madly and wish them only the best, but it is important to remember that any wrong act (even an inadvertently thrown phrase) can severely offend and offend your child, which in the future can affect both his behavior and development generally. Many parents often make mistakes in the upbringing of their children. We will talk about how not to behave with the child and what he should not say in order to build a good relationship.
So, what should not your child say? How to become a child a friend.
never say that he can do something better and you know about it. Your child expects praise, but in response he hears that he could do everything better and that he is just a lazy person. Remember, children are not able to assess their abilities and abilities, although they are trying. Their efforts are aimed at making their parents happy. Knowing this, parents should help the child so that he can independently understand the limits of his abilities, help him develop his talents. Do not blame the child, it is better to use softer expressions, for example, “there will be more room in the room to play, if you clean it up and put everything in its place.”
do not tell the baby that he no longer needs to eat sweet. It is clear that parents are worried about the health of the child. Only the child perceives this in a different way. Especially do not use expressions in which you point to the child’s clumsiness due to the fact that he eats a lot of sweet. So you will develop insecurity in the baby and different complexes. It is best to have at home only healthy food, and all the sweets are recommended to cook yourself and in small portions. Involve your child in physical activity, let him attend the sports section at will. You can arrange walks, for example, on bicycles with the child.
you should not use expressions like “You never …” or “You are so always …”. Do not constantly tell the child that he forgot to do something when you asked him about it, or that he is doing something wrong so as not to discourage him from wanting to correct his mistake. Instead of these expressions, it is better to offer him help in solving this or that problem, so that the child will succeed.
try not to compare the child with his brother or sister, indicating that they are doing everything better. Do not set him as an example of other children. Only from the parents themselves, it depends on how the baby will be, whether he will be able to carry out the tasks assigned to him. Let the child do everything as he can and can. From a small age it is necessary to develop in children a sense of their own uniqueness. Since childhood, he must strive for positive results, and not follow in the footsteps of his sister or brother.
do not blame the child for having again started to do things at the last moment. Suppose your child spent the whole day at the computer playing various games. After that, he was doing his homework late and, naturally, did not get enough sleep in the morning, woke up tired and listless, which affected his activity during the day. It is important for the parent to inform the child that this is important for the child himself, because as a result he received, for example, a bad grade in school. When a similar situation arises again, the child will think what to choose-entertainment or the timely completion of the homework, to avoid later the comments from the teachers in the school.
do not allow yourself to assess the capabilities of the child, focusing on the fact that he is best given this or that subject. By this behavior, you simply do not allow the child to show his abilities in other areas. It is important to learn how to praise a child for good results within any subject, and to encourage his aspirations to become better in any matter.
do not tell your child that his first day of school will pass just fine. With these words, you will create a child’s fear that something can happen. On the way to school, parents must confidently tell their child that he will have a busy day, where he will meet new friends who will study with him.
do not allow yourself to state in the presence of a child that your decisions are final and not subject to discussion. Many parents use these techniques to teach their children to obey them. If you want the child to help you clean up the house, and not play with the guys on the street, then do not tell him about it in an orderly tone. Try to explain to the child that he is an indispensable assistant for you, so it will be great if he will help you.
do not tell the child that he should not be friends and communicate with anyone, since this person is bad for him. Many of us have heard this phrase in our childhood, because parents often did not like our friends. Try to start talking with the child, find out why he communicates with these guys, how they spend time. If you are firmly convinced that a person has a bad influence on your child, you can try to convince him that the other will be much more interesting. Children can not always immediately take these advice, but after a while they will surely see for themselves.
In the tenth,
do not blame your child that he is doing something wrong, and set an example for himself. If you are asking to help a child get away at home, it is natural that he will cope worse than you. Do not start criticizing him, better help him in the task, show how it will be easier and better to do this work.
Why screaming at children is harmful?
In reality, the cry does not help, but it hinders the upbringing. Every rude word and shouting tear the thin strings of mutual affection between the child and the parent. Wrathful escapades of parents hurt the psyche of the baby, because he feels at this moment that even the most loved and loved ones left him, who became alienated, angry and cold.
Being a toddler, the child is helpless before the cry of the elders, but when he approaches the teenage age, then over it the conversation on elevated tones of such power will already have no.
He can very well begin to actively oppose such treatment or respond with a cry for a shout. But the most serious consequence of upbringing by crying is that the weakened attachment of the baby to the parents will cease to be a strong support in life for him. Therefore, such children are more likely to be subjected to extraneous influence, since their own family is not reliable for them. More important than mom and dad for them are friends in the company, parents just “miss” their offspring.
Another negative consequence of the impact of the cry is the consolidation of such a model of behavior in the child’s mind, so the child who has grown up in such conditions starts behaving the same way in relation to his children. That is, the wrong relationship between parents and the child is broadcast on to the next generation.
How do not scream at the baby?
Fortunately, there are also families where children are not shouted, and they are not formed by ideal people. But they were able to find a different approach to their children, without applying a scream at all. Other parents will not be bothered to get acquainted with some tips.
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It is very difficult not to break down on the child, if the own nervous system is shattered. Therefore, you need to start by reviewing your lifestyle, removing as many different irritants as possible from it. Stop talking with an eternally crying friend, exuding one negative – just throwing out her cellphone number. In the end, she will survive, but her own children are more valuable than strangers. It is more difficult to change the disgusted work for another, but you need to use the slightest chance, if it goes to benefit the relationship with the children. Different situations can be mass.
After this, you need to reconsider your daily routine, highlighting in it a place for communication with children, sleep and personal time. Those who are given this difficult, can go to the training on time management, whose specialists will prompt how to plan the day correctly.
You also need to find a way to help effectively relieve stress. Someone will run to the gym to beat a boxing pear, and another will crumple and throw a sheet of paper. You can use any method to pour your negative not on the child.
Do not forget the consequences
Sometimes mums lack motivation to change something and start acting. They scream at the baby, then curse themselves, but calm down, believing that nothing terrible has happened. It is useful to imagine, before you start shouting at the child, what damage it will do to him. The consciousness of a frightened kid can not give a correct assessment of this horror, the connections between neurons are lost, some of the nerve cells die. This is fraught with nervous disorders, which can lead to the loss of physical health. To better understand the harm of screaming for a child, one can imagine that he ate something poisonous at that moment, which destroys his nervous system and the rest of the body.
Help to wean screaming at the child can found a deterrent. Usually mothers do not yell at children in the presence of outsiders, but prefer to do it in a more intimate atmosphere, without witnesses. Then it would be useful to imagine before you start throwing thunder and lightning, that somewhere near, behind the wall are guests. You look, and you can keep from shouting! Then you need to take a deep breath and go out of the room, breathe fresh air there, analyze what happened, relax a little, and then return to the offspring in order to discuss the situation in a calm atmosphere.
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