Millions of people want to get acquainted, but do not know how, or have already met and do not know how to behave. Others have problems in family life and they can not find the answer to what to do in such a situation.
To be afraid to get acquainted is absolutely natural
A person is always afraid of uncertainty. A new man is always an unknown universe. Do not believe someone who convinces you that he does not worry a bit when communicating with a new person. Adrenaline will always be.
The main thing is to develop the skill and add excitement. Everyone knows how important it is to make a first impression. If you want to make new friends, but do not want to seem like a “freak”, you need to learn to show interest in people without expressing an excessive desire or even desperation to get acquainted.
Live the moment.
First of all, you should stop worrying about what they think about you, and just start enjoying a new conversation. Forget about your expectations and fears, let the conversation proceed naturally and organically. Learn to concentrate on other people, so as not to lose the thread of conversation and follow the line of condemnation. When you approach a new person, do not ask yourself: “How do I look? How does my voice sound?
“It’s better to ask yourself:” What does this person want to talk about? What are his interests? “Try to be a step ahead, thinking about what to say next, instead of scrolling in your head the stupidity that you just dropped (or 5 minutes ago) accidentally dropped.
Stop being insecure about yourself and constantly seek the approval of others.
The need for emotional support is a harbinger of obsession, and this is abnormal. Such people are unbalanced and unstable. their happiness depends too much on someone else. If you feel that you will be crushed, if a person does not want to be your friend or partner in a relationship, it’s time to stop, have patience and analyze yourself.
If you are really hooked on a new acquaintance, do not rush to say right away: “I like you!” Or “You’re just super!” If you do not want to overdo with the manifestation of positive fluids.
Do not ask for the person’s phone number in the middle of the conversation or as soon as a spark has run between you. Better wait until the end – it will look more natural.
The success stories and the numbers speak very clearly
If you want a person to become your friend, you can say something in the style: “We could watch this new movie together” or “I would like to attend these yoga courses that you spoke about.” Try to choose a neutral lesson so as not to seem overly obsessive. Do not invite a person immediately to make a long walk on bicycles, visit with you a family dinner or help choose the underwear in the store.
Perhaps you doubt yourself, but while maintaining confidence, you will let other people feel that you are worth it to communicate with you. Radiate confidence before you go into the room with strangers and strengthen it when talking. Just smile, talk about your favorite things, show others that you are happy with yourself, where you are and what you are doing.
Sign language will help you to maintain confidence. Straighten your shoulders, keep eye contact, do not make fussy movements with your hands and do not look at the floor. Do not check the soy reflection in the mirror or reflective surfaces, people can see that you are nervous. When you imagine yourself, speak clearly and loudly so that you will be heard.
Radiate positive energy.
However, do not try to look too enthusiastic. Smile and laugh from time to time, do not stand with a strange grin on your face and do not laugh at what is not funny. If you talk about the continued hatred of a certain teacher, colleague, celebrity, etc. you will definitely look repulsive.
Say relevant compliments.
In the process of conversation, you can as if by chance make a compliment to the interlocutor. However, do not abuse compliments. It’s just a courtesy.
Imagine that a relationship is a kind of video game. You start with an easy level, over time you learn by going to more difficult levels, and achieve a satisfactory result. When you meet a person you are at the first level, and until it passes, do not jump to the second. People with strangeness tend to start at the 15th level.
You can build a conversation on more personal topics, but it’s worth starting with something simple and harmless, for example, with a conversation about the weather or your favorite music. Do not talk about your loneliness, depression or nervous breakdowns, if you had them – so you just seem strange.
Do not make undue invitations.
Do not invite a person you just met, to your home or to some private or even frightening place, such as a cellar, an abandoned barn, a hut in the forest, etc. Such kind of invitations can be done only to those people who completely trust you. At the first meeting, only someone can agree.
If you want to invite someone somewhere, choose a public place where there are many other people.
An invitation may also be inappropriate if it is associated with some private event. For example, do not call with a wedding to a friend the girl you just met.
Know how to accept refusal (if required).
If, despite all your efforts, a person answers you sharply or evades you, you need a different approach. Try to ask what the matter is. If the problem is in you, perhaps you should change your behavior. Of course, it’s much easier to take offense at people who think you are strange.
However, you will not achieve anything and will not be able to objectively analyze yourself and your behavior in order to change it for the better. Get used to the fact that people always judge each other. Do not think that changing your behavior to please others means that you have to step over yourself and become someone you are not. Most likely, your uniqueness will be more noticeable if you just be yourself. Treat refusal with tranquility.
Some people simply can not respond as you would like. A conversation can not always go the way you expected. Perhaps a person had a bad day, he is nervous, he wants to be alone, he is just rude by himself. Take it easy, turn around and try again with someone else.
Even if you do not know how to react, a simple nod of your head is enough to show interest or help a person relax. Do not overdo it so as not to look too interested.
Do not try to change the appearance or style of clothes. Be yourself! If you can find a common language with people, your appearance will not matter. Although still not worth wearing a latex suit at the first meeting.
Do not try to look cold and unapproachable. In the media, anime and video games is often represented the image of a closed, mysterious character that looks cool. However, in real life, this looks rather strange and repulsive.
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