With a spiritual relationship the persons involved are connected at the heart. Emotionally they sense the deep connection they have together, and it is felt at their core or heart.
A spiritual relationship is one that has a spiritual union felt both physically, mentally and at other levels. Both parties feel like their spirits are connected. There are certain people we connect to instantly. These are people to whom we have karmic connections. The same holds true for people we can’t stand immediately. We have a karmic connection with them as well. Both of those types of relationships are spiritual because our spirit as or essence either is attracted or repelled beyond our conscious control.
Sometimes we become spiritually stuck and cannot evolve in a relationship. These are not spiritual relationships. These types of relationships hold us there not allowing for growth or other experiences. It is true that being a victim, martyr, persecutor, rescuer or love addict may have a karmic lesson but in this case the spiritual lesson is learning how to let go.
How do we know if we have encountered a spiritual relationship? Spiritual relationships aren’t necessarily what we think they are. For example, an obvious spiritual relationship would be a childhood imaginary friend. A less obvious one might be a favorite stuffed animal that you keep nearby for inspiration. A dream may connect you to an animal or person that influences you long beyond the dream.
A spiritual relationship is one of the most powerful tools for transforming you into your best self. Every relationship has its own unique set of challenges, which are all just opportunities for growth—if only we see them as such. Here are some characteristics of spiritual relationships that any seeker should aim to cultivate.
You are not consumed by passion. You experience it while still maintaining your individuality as well as being aware that it’s not what healthy, happy relationships are built off of. It’s a crucial aspect in your connection, but it’s not the glue that holds you together.
You both practice compassion in moments you might be tempted to judge. In those moments of conflict, or in struggles you or your partner face individually, you don’t criticize or affirm each other’s negative self-perceptions. Instead, you listen with understanding and acceptance.
You see your partner’s wounds as something with the potential to transform them through healing, and they see yours the same way. You have faith in each other’s ability to surmount these challenges and encourage each other to do so.
You hold space for one another. When one person is speaking, the other is doing nothing but listening: not coming up with a response, not interrupting with a different observation. You are fully present for one another because you value what the other feels and thinks.
You are fully present in the relationship. In a spiritual relationship, partners show up completely—emotionally, spiritually, mentally. You do not hide from each other and you feel comfortable being vulnerable and truthful to each other. (But you do it even if you don’t.) You invest in self-awareness practices like meditation, yoga, and journaling so you are constantly increasing the awareness of what you want and need, and what you can do to be a better partner. Then you practice conscious communication to make sure your partner hears those needs. You both speak and listen with the intent to understand each other.
You appreciate what you have while you have it. You aren’t constantly wanting more because you genuinely know you have their love. You don’t need any extra gestures or promises to prove it.
You practice forgiveness with each other. When conflicts arise, as they naturally do, you practice forgiveness. You out-forgive each other, letting go of harsh words and hurt feelings. You talk about what happened as you forgive so the anger dissolves and resentment doesn’t have a chance to grow. You are both vulnerable enough to ask for forgiveness when you’ve screwed up and compassionate enough to offer forgiveness when your partner asks for it.
Your only expectation for each other is that you each try to be your best self every day. In Spiritual relationships both parties recognize that you can’t predict human behavior, or expect them to fit into some arbitrary box you’ve created in your mind. You simply expect your partner to try to be the best version of themselves, every day. That makes it easier to let the relationship evolve naturally, rather than trying to put yourselves on a deadline. The only goal in your relationship should be to continue to evolve as individuals and as a couple. What comes out of that naturally will be the best possible outcome for both of you.
You see partnership as an opportunity to experience love, not a tool to create certainty. You aren’t desperate for proof that they love you, you aren’t threatened by them so much as speaking to another attractive human being, you don’t necessarily need them to promise you forever and ever. You know you’re in it together right now.
You’re very comfortable around one another – but not in the lazy, dull way. You can have sparks and melty gooey gross feelings while still being comfortable enough to cohabitate and function together, and that is much more magical than the alternative.
Your default is humility, not ego. You and your partner don’t attack each other when triggered. You each acknowledge your role in every dynamic and approach conflict with a willingness to compromise and forgive. You appreciate each other more during the tough times, rather than resenting each other.
You think similarly, which is another way of saying, you’re alike in the ways it matters most, particularly regarding how you process the world around you, or what your fundamental belief systems are.
The element that elevates a spiritual partnership beyond an ordinary relationship is the revolutionary idea that your role is to support each other on your path to reach ultimate evolution, to become your best self. Whatever goals you set for your relationship will dictate how it functions day to day. If your goal is company, or financial security, don’t expect long-term satisfaction. If your goal is radical evolution of your body, mind and spirit, expect fulfillment beyond your dreams.