An engaging, secure love relationship can be an ongoing source of support and happiness. Good relationships strengthen all aspects of life: your health, your mind, and your work. However, if the relationship isn’t supportive, it can be a tremendous drain. Relationships get better or worse depending on how much or how little we understand and invest in them. These tips can help keep a healthy relationship strong, or repair trust and love in a relationship on the rocks.
Relationships are hard. They take a lot of dedication, focus, and work. Finding the right person to settle down with can often feel like a very frustrating game of chance. And even when you do find the right one, you’ll still have your work cut out for you as you make an effort to maintain your relationship.
The best relationship advice I’ve ever gotten, and that I give, is “easy does it.” Too often we get caught up in fear-based needs to control our partner. This pull becomes a destructive compulsion that corrodes the integrity of the relationship. It replaces respect and compassion with anger and resentment. It destroys the quality of our lives and over time, the relationship.
Curiously, how you felt about the people who cared for you as an infant may have shaped your expectations of love. If your caretaker was understanding and caring about what you needed, you trusted them and the emotions you felt for them. But if your caretaker was confused, frightened, or hurt you, your expectations of love may have become colored by these experiences. This relationship with your primary caretaker may also have made you feel uncomfortable with emotions–both your own and other people’s.
Opposites attract, but not when it comes to values and world views. Women appreciate men who make the first move, but if she’s legitimately interested, she will reach out in due time. Most people start out a relationship trying to be on their best behavior.
There is nothing sexier than a woman who is confident in herself. With that said, men tend to respect women who not only are okay hanging out on their own but desire that.
Pay close attention to how your partner behaves at the beginning of the relationship. How a person appears at first sets a precedent for how he/she will manifest as a long-term partner. If he/she is flaky, dismissive of your feelings, or not respectful, don’t assume you can change your partner. We can’t change other people; we can only change ourselves. If it’s good in the beginning it will continue to be good. If there are a lot of red flags you think you can “fix”, then you are bound to end up disappointed.
You are responsible for your own happiness. It’s not my partner’s job to make me happy. It’s my job to make me happy. Of course it’s easy to feel good when my partner is acting in a way that I want —but needing them to be a certain way in order for me to feel good —that’s bondage. Thinking that they’re always going to be in a good mood and directing their affectionate attention towards me — while that may be possible during the initial stage of a relationship, is impossible to sustain long-term. I’m responsible for my happiness. My partner is responsible for her happiness. We deliberately focus on things to feel good in our lives and for things to appreciate in one another.
Hold hands. Next time you’re out together, make sure you’re in sync by holding one another’s hand. A public sign of affection.
Focus on what they do right, not what they do wrong. Positive reinforcement is an age-old concept used with children and even the training of animals. But it’s still important for fully grown adults too. So compliment your partner when they deserve it and try not to look for things they do wrong.
Human love has an evolutionary purpose. When we experience feeling loved our brain and nervous system become more relaxed and efficient and we feel happier and are healthier. Feeling loved is nature’s antidote to stress. There is no quicker or more effective way to override too much stress and upset than positive face-to-face communication with someone that makes us feel understood, safe, and valued.
Be willing to invest quality time, energy, and focus in your relationship. This may not be easy given the demands of work, career, parenting, and the need we all have for time to ourselves. Failure to invest in the ones we love results not only in the loss of pleasure but in lost opportunities for health and overall well-being.
We fall in love looking at one another and listening to one another and if we continue to look and listen in the same attentive and approving ways, we will sustain the falling in love experience. You probably have fond memories of when you were first dating your loved one. Everything may have seemed new and exciting, and you may have spent hours just chatting together or coming up with new, exciting things to try. However, as time goes by, children, demanding jobs, long commutes, different hobbies and other obligations can make it hard to find time together.
Timeless Pieces Of Advice About Love & Relationships
Don’t stay with someone who antagonizes you or belittles you. If you feel lonely, you’re better off being alone. Know when to walk away. You can gauge a person’s love for you by how they treat you when they are upset with you.
Don’t settle for someone who has zero regard for your feelings or wants just because you’ve been together a long time. No relationship is perfect and there will be conflict. What matters is the desire to solve the problem.
Always fight the problem, not the other person. If you keep this in mind when arguing, you’ll be able to actually resolve the issue than be mad at each other. Always be the first to genuinely apologize after a fight. It takes two happy individuals to make a happy relationship.
Love is about appreciation, not possession. Keep no secrets, tell no lies. Love is not a feeling. Feelings fade, change, respond to situations and events. Love is a choice. Love is an action, not a feeling. It’s learned and developed skill, not an experience. Not that the romantic feeling doesn’t exist or isn’t a wonderful part of the relationship, but it doesn’t make it last.
The extent to which two people in a relationship can bring up and resolve issues is a critical marker of the soundness of a relationship.
Good communication is less about saying what you mean, and more about defining what you say.
A relationship will either make the majority of your life happy or miserable. It is important to take your time and make sure that it is a wise choice before making a commitment.
Relationships are steppingstones for the evolution of our consciousness. Each interaction we have, be it one of joy or contrast, allows us to learn more about who we are and what we want in this lifetime. They bring us into greater alignment… as long as we continue to move forward and do not get attached to hurt, anger, or being a victim.
Sex becomes less and less pleasurable in a relationship over time. Your brain gets habituated to the sensual stimulation from your specific partner as you are exposed to it repeatedly. It doesn’t mean that the love is gone from the relationship. Love still exists beyond the barriers of time, in the form of attachment, which becomes independent of sexual intimacy after the euphoric stage of mad love.